


Rose's Dress Must Die

by Dkey



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Tentabulges
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-23
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 21:25:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dkey/pseuds/Dkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanaya's been on the meteor with Rose for over a sweep now. In Kanaya's eyes the blonde is pretty much perfect, all except for one tiny detail: HER GOD TIER DRESS IS GAUDY AS SIN</p><p>It's driving her up a wall. She must do something about it.</p><p>Except she can't since she becomes all thumbs when the wearer is near.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kanaya <3< Rose's Outfit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wagyubeefy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wagyubeefy/gifts).



One sweep. 

One sweep, four months, twelve days and thirty seven minutes exactly, that was the amount of time Kanaya had spent on the meteor hurtling through space with that abomination on board, and every second that passed without destroying it made her well up in seething rage. She couldn’t understand it, all of her companions, both the ones she had known for sweeps and the ones that had only come into her company recently, were ignoring the obvious trumpet-beast in the room. She couldn’t understand how anyone could tolerate it being as close as it was, and yet none of her friends seemed to complain nor acknowledge its existence. It was hideous, more grotesque than Vriska’s Lusus, more dangerous than any horror she had ever faced before, during, or after Sgrub, and more frightening than a first guardian. Kanaya was afraid, but if she was to ever live without fear or intense hatred lurking in the back of her mind she knew what she had to do.

Rose’s dress had to die.

At least that’s what Kanaya thought in private, any time she actually came face to face with the rag her resolve weakened considerably. The gaudy neon orange of the ensemble was inescapable and reflected some of the light that her rainbowdrinker state emitted back into her eyes. The material that it was comprised of looked to be felt and its thickness was apparent even at a passing glance; it lent to the dress an amateurish design and appearance, like a hand puppet that the youngest trolls would make for their lusus and it offended her on a visceral level. Yet, above all else, by far the worst part about it was that it was taunting her. In some places it was tight, fitting snugly around Rose’s curves and in others it draped loosely over her frame, teasing Kanaya with glimpses of form but then withdrawing them from her sight, causing her concentration to shatter as soon as Rose walked into the room. Of course, it was also practically indestructible, any tear was quickly repaired and any dirt or stain was almost instantly cleaned, meaning Rose had no reason to take it off, and being the busy girl she was she rarely did. Kanaya was at a breaking point, and she did not know what to do.

“Kanaya, is there something you need?” Rose asked while peering over her book from the pile of half finished scarves “You’ve been staring at me for the last ten minutes.”

“Oh! I didn’t mean to… I’ve just been trying to think of a solution for a conundrum that has plagued me for an inordinately large amount of time and I lost myself in thought.” 

“Really? Perhaps I could help,” Rose offered as she put the book aside “what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing important, I… I don’t know how to explain it exactly. It’s just there’s something I have to do and I’m not sure how to go about it.”

“Well, that’s not much to go on Kanaya, and if it has you glowing this brightly I doubt it’s nothing.”

Kanaya paused “What do you mean by ‘glowing this brightly’?”

“You didn’t know? Kanaya, every time you become stressed you radiate more light than normal.”

“Oh.” Kanaya said, shuffling a bit in her seat “I wish I had known earlier.”

“I’m sorry; I thought you were already aware.”

An awkward silence fell between which lasted for several minutes before either could think of something to say in order to clear the air.

“So why don’t you tell me what’s wrong? Maybe that will make you feel better and you can stop looking like a small sun. If you’re worried about what people may think then you have my word that nothing you say will leave this room.” 

Rose got up out of her scarf pile and walked towards the couch the Virgo was sitting on before plopping herself down on the opposite end. Kanaya’s eyes followed her every movement, looking the seer up and down, and she could feel the vascular sack in her chest beat harder and harder as the girl and her dress grew near. Even now Kanaya knew she couldn’t be close for very long while keeping any form of composure, and she began to question how Rose could wear such a disgusting aberration nearly perpetually without suffering a similar fate. 

“Shall we begin?” Rose asked with a smile, possibly trying to lighten the mood “I’ve noticed that the vast majority of your goals had to be put on hold for the trip and I feel it might be good for you to accomplish something in the short term to gain a little control over your life.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Kanaya mumbled as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt, diverting her eyes from Rose’s direction in an attempt to put the traffic cone of a dress out of her sight “I’m just having a lot of trouble taking my mind off of something since we left our universe. You already know that I feel a need to ameliorate the existence of everyone here, whether it’s auspicing between the boys, repairing Terezi’s flarping outfit, or even keeping your favorite literature out of the hands of the mayor, but I still feel like I’ve been letting something slip past me that m…” Kanaya gulped as she snuck a peak at Rose’s legs, coated in the terrible cloth that tarnished the otherwise perfect scene “th-that may be the most dangerous thing here…”

“Dangerous how?” Rose questioned while scooting a little closer to the jadeblood “Can you describe it for me?” 

“W-well I’m… I don’t know… I can’t really I just…” 

Kanaya could feel the heat rushing to her face and knew a green flush was taking over her iridescent skin; she was scared of Rose right now and they both new it, but Rose kept moving forward toward the terrified troll, both physically and through psychological probing.

“I thought you liked dangerous things. What makes this different?”

“I do to a certain extent, b-but this is… I don’t know…I guess in a certain way it’s appealing. When I’m around this problem I feel things I never feel anywhere else, extremes of emotion that fling me to and fro as it comes and goes from my vicinity. Sometimes I just look at it and wonder how so many people can ignore the effect it’s having on them, or when they simply come in contact with it remaining unaffected and unfazed. When I’m around it I can barely even think, it’s like I’ve drunk a dozen of your human martinis and can not keep myself steady. It’s selfish and likely insane, but sometimes I want it all to myself, I want to lock it away from prying eyes, whenever I’m around it really, but then I realize how disgusting those thoughts are and quickly remove them from my think pan.”

Rose looked away and strummed her fingers on the back of the couch before once again inching a little closer. “You know, not everything you do has to be for the benefit of others. Have you ever thought of giving into your selfish impulses from time to time?”

Kanaya sighed while moving her hand from her lap onto the couch and found it resting upon Rose’s own before quickly withdrawing it and then tentatively placing it back. 

“Kanaya, there is a distinct possibility that no one would mind if you acted on these feelings. You said it yourself, people seem to be ignoring the effects that I…” 

If Kanaya had been looking, or really been paying much attention to the conversation at all, she would have noticed that Rose’s face had turned a light pink before she continued.

“…it has been having on them. If anyone knew you were doing them a service I would think that they might applaud your efforts.”

Kanaya remained silent, mulling over Rose’s words until she ruled out the possibility that Rose was already aware of what the identity of the subject at hand. There was no way Rose could know; if she were aware of the ramifications she certainly wouldn’t be forcing others to live with them. Probably. 

There was also the distinct possibility she just liked making her squirm.

“I don’t feel that that is true Rose. I am certain at least one person would be upset with me if I were to give into my selfish tendencies…” Kanaya replied as she grabbed at the nearest book and made a show of reading it “If you don’t mind, I’d rather drop this line of questioning and figure this problem out on my own.”

“Alright Kanaya, if that is what you want I won’t pry too much more. I’d just like to ask you one more question before I leave you alone.” 

“That is acceptable, but I offer no guarantees that I will answer your inquiry.”

“Alright, then I’ll make it quick. Am I the one that would be upset?”

“No.” 

“You’re a terrible liar Kanaya.”

“I am not.”

“Yes you are. Every time you lie your sentences become terser.”

“They do not”

“You even self demonstrate; your other tell is becoming a bit brighter as well.”

Kanaya didn’t react or show any signs of emotion.

“…and of course the book you’re holding is upside down.”

Kanaya simply kept the book up to her face, now paralyzed with indecision.

“I really wish you would put that down.... That being said, I am relieved.”

“Relieved?” Kanaya’s interest was piqued, but she had no intention of showing it “Why are you relieved?”

“Because I wasn’t sure why you were avoiding me. Now I know.”

Kanaya lowered her book and looked at Rose. 

“I don’t suppose you’d share this insight wi-MFPH!”

Rose’s lips locked tightly around Kanaya’s and her hands pinned the Rainbow drinker’s shoulders to the seat. For one of the undead Kanaya was unusually warm, her lips tasted of coffee and iron, and her skin was glowing as bright as it had ever been, she was brilliant in every sense of the word. A shame Rose couldn’t hold her breath for more than a minute or the kiss would have lasted longer. 

“That you return my affections. You couldn’t know how much I’ve been fretting over this. I thought you despised me.” A genuine smile spread across her face, followed by a stream of tears. “Lately there have been swaths of days where I haven’t seen you at all, and then days following where I could feel your gaze pierce the back of my skull for hours at a time. I thought you were furious but I didn’t understand why. I had to get some sage advice to realize what was really happening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is short because it segues into the next chapter, which has a tonal shift.


	2. An Expedition Into The Psychologically Dubious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose goes to Dave for advice on dealing with Kanaya's sudden change of personality. It's not easy.

Weeks in the past, but not many.

Dave’s room was dark, a trait it often employed when Dave was in the mood to compose. He said that the dark backdrop helped him paint with the colors that came with his synesthesia. It was one of the reasons that he wore his shades at all times, slightly darkening the world around him in an attempt to enjoy life to the fullest as well as serving as a talking point with Terezi (and making him look cool in the process). Rose wasn’t sure if there was anything to it or not, seeing as his taste in music and art was nowhere near her own, but she could appreciate the need to create art under the best possible circumstances. When Rose entered the room however it was oddly silent, and as she looked around it became evident that he was actually just packing up the equipment from a previous session.

“Strider?”

“Lalonde,” Dave said in acknowledgement, standing up from behind his turn tables “what can I do for you?”

“Can’t a girl talk to her ectobiological brother without wanting something from him?”

“Well it’s either that or you’re going to tell me something stupid about myself, like how much I love other men’s penises based on how much time I spend chewing my cereal in the morning. I’m hoping that it’s the first.”

“If erect male genitalia are the first things that come to mind upon seeing your younger sister then I think you’ve made that point for me.” 

“You got me Rose; I’m all about the cock. You have no idea how much I enjoy fellating the dongs of small girls.”

“That wasn’t what I had in mind, but I’ll make a note of that for our next therapy session.”

“Fuck, Lalonde is there something you wanted? I could be building can town with Terezi right now.”

“Speaking of fellating the dongs of small girls…” Rose muttered under her breath. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” The seer stated forcefully enough to push the conversation off the subject “I actually need your help in dealing with something personal…” 

“I’m sorry, I must have heard you wrong. You’re going to have to repeat that, what I thought you said just now can’t be right.” 

“If you don’t want to help I can go to someone else. I hear Karkat has great diagrams for such matters. I simply thought you would make an excellent sounding board.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, Rose, you don’t want to do anything rash. That asshole is a few boondollars short of a buck. I don’t know why you’d want to go to him for any sort of… advice… wait. Are you coming to me for relationship troubles?”

“I was… but I’m rapidly growing the inclination that this might have been a mistake.”

“This isn’t more mind games is it? Why don’t you go ask your vamp-“

Rose sucked at her bottom lip and closed her eyes. 

“Oh.” Dave said with a hint of surprise “Well, shit. What’s the light bulb done now?”

Rose raised herself off the ground until her headband nearly touched the ceiling and placed herself on top of the bookshelf full of binders of sick beats in the far corner of the room. This was going to be a long conversation. Dave suspected that she felt safer up there, like a cat climbing to places that those she loved or feared could not reach. Having reached god tier himself Dave could have easily followed her up there, but she had made it clear that she wanted the seat to herself. Rose hung her feet over the edge and dangled them gently every so often to keep herself busy and keep her mind off the task at hand. 

Dave pulled a chair out of his desk turning it so he could place his head on the top of the backrest and look up to face his sister. The room was still dark, something he was sure Rose wouldn’t mind too much considering her oversaturation of light over the last two years. Besides, they conducted their sessions under similar conditions, and if was going to help he wanted to go about it the way he knew was correct, this wasn’t something to dick around with. 

“She hasn’t done anything” Rose replied after some delay “That’s kind of the problem.”

“…you’re going to have to explain that you know.”

“I know.”

“Well, are you?”

“In due time.” Rose said while looking at the floor “We’ve just not been very close recently.” 

“How so?” Dave said, attempting to conceal a smirk but failing miserably “I thought you two were pretty much inseparable, aren’t you two best friends or that diamond thing that the stupid nubby asshole is talking about?”

“Actually I think she’s angry at me.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea, but it’s possible that I’ve made some sort of multicultural faux-pas without my knowledge.”

“Really? I’m not going to bother asking if you’ve talked to her about it. I think we both know the answer is either ‘yes’ where she brushed you off and you got nothing or more likely that you didn’t ask at all and are too nervous to bring it up due to suspicions of the former. Either way you’re well past the stage where you could ask without it being awkward. But if you truly thought that this was a social misstep you really would have gone to Highpants Mc Shouty, so that rules that out anyway.”

“You’ve been paying attention Dave.”

“I try.” He said before clearing his throat “Regardless what makes you think she’s angry at you? Has she been more distant or quiet when she’s around you? More hostile? Maybe spending more time with one of the other trolls?” He stopped as a terrible though popped into his head. “Oh god Rose, are you two…”

“Are we what?”

Dave wrestled in his seat. This was not a topic he wanted to be asking his sister.

“Fuck Rose, don’t make me say it.”

“No no, I want to hear what this startling revelation that you have is.”

“Shit, don’t take this the wrong way… but are you…”

“Are we what?”

“Damn it Rose you know exactly what I’m asking.”

Rose’s telling smile betrayed her. She knew, he knew she knew, and she knew he knew she knew, but any time she could put off actually discussing the issue at hand was worth it. 

“You’re right; I just wanted to hear you say it.” Rose vaulted her legs up onto the shelf “But no, we aren’t together.”

“Right…“ Dave said while cleaning the residue of a couple sweat drops off his shades.

“Although that wouldn’t be undesirable.”

Crack. 

“Well, shit.” Dave spat out as he looked down at his now slightly damaged glasses “I… well I didn’t think you… damn it Lalonde are you fucking with me again?”

“Not at all, I’m quite serious. I’ve been fond of her for some time now.”

“Okay, wow, I… alright, does she know?”

“I assume so, we’ve spent enough time together and we are friendly enough. I have implied enough subtext to subdue a horrorterror and the topic of sex has crossed our tongues.” 

Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Was that one of those Freudian slips that you’re always accusing me of?”

“No, just a poor choice of words, and before you ask, no we are not intimate.”

Dave sighed. He wasn’t really sure what to say. To him the answer was obvious, as it probably would be to anyone else, there could only be one reason Kanaya was distant after nearly two years with nothing changing. It was obvious to him and everyone else from the get-go of this damn journey that Kanaya was smitten with Rose since they first laid eyes on each other. It felt like a trap, but Rose was pretty far into the act for this whole thing to be a practical joke. Flirting, aside from in the antagonistic sense, was not something that Dave could ever see Rose doing, and he became increasingly dubious of the idea of Rose dropping comprehensible subtext to anyone, let alone someone from a different species or planet. He had to set het straight, even at risk of embarrassing his stupid ass.

“Rose,” Dave said while rubbing the back of his neck “I’m going to be honest. I don’t think it’s anything you’ve done that’s upset her.”

“That’s good to hear then, I’m glad not to be the source of her mis-“

“It’s what you haven’t done.”

“I don’t follow.” 

“That troll you have a crush on? She’s been smitten with you since day fucking one of this voyage. Probably longer than that actually, if a certain douchebag troll ranting in the hallway is to be believed.”

“You sure do talk about Karkat a lot for someone who detests him so much, would you like to talk about your obvious fe-“

“Shut up Rose. That’s not the point.”

“Mr. Strider, being so forceful with a girl is liable to make her fall for you.”

“That Rose, that’s the point, that right there. You can’t let your guard down with anyone, and it leads you to jab at people whenever you feel threatened or when we get onto an actual topic that you actually came here to discuss.”

He was practically shouting. Rose recoiled at the comment but the shame only overtook her face for the briefest of glimpses. 

“Well, if you feel so strongly we can just end this right now.”

“Rose, that’s bullshit and you know it. You came to me with this and I’m not letting you ditch out on me. You’re my sister, and a damn good friend, believe it or not I may actually want you to be happy.”

“Fine then Strider, what should I be doing?”

Dave couldn’t decide what was more unsettling, Rose dodging every question or the attentive stare that she was giving now that Dave had confronted her. It was absolutely the most terrifying stare he’d ever had the misfortune to have directed at him, but he couldn’t lose face, if he did she might find a reason to get away from him. A seer of light shouldn’t have a gaze that dark and cold.

“You should be showing her you give two shits. I’d be willing to bet that the reason she’s so damn distant with you is because she thinks that you’re not interested.”

“I have already told you that I’ve supplied plenty of subtext and hints as to my feelings for her.”

“Rose, you know Kanaya better than I do but even I know that girl is straight up not going to catch on, and even if she does pick up on it she’s going to second guess herself constantly.”

Rose’s stare began to let up, as did the defensive anger that came with it.

“I- I know.”

“You do?”

“Yes. Dave, I… don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do it. That’s why I’m here.”

Rose had turned her face away from the direction that Dave was sitting. She hugged her knees and stayed quiet. Dave understood her antagonizing him was a way that the two bonded; her therapy sessions helped her better understand his mind and helped her form a familial bond with him. She didn’t have that luxury with Kanaya. The girls had built their relationship on friendly rivalry and admiration for one another, but in the process she had exhausted the only avenue she knew to connect. 

“Dave, you’re the only family that I’ve ever been close with… not even my Mo-”

Rose choked up. She didn’t move her mouth. She couldn’t move at all.

“You don’t have to finish that. I get it.”

Rose turned around and looked back at Dave. He was no longer sitting down and the chair was back under the desk. His arms were extended towards her.

“I think this might help.”

Rose jumped down, floating the last few inches before touching the floor. She tentatively drew closer, inch by inch until Dave nearly leaped at her and enveloped her in his arms. Rose stood perfectly still, tense and uneasy, without a sound. She could not hug the knight back, but he was embracing her as tightly as he could without bruising. It was uncomfortable for both parties, but necessary, and after some odd minutes Dave loosened his grip and let go. Rose didn’t move, her hair rustled and her dress crimped where Dave’s arms had been.

“We’ll work on it, okay? Why don’t you come back tommarow and we’ll talk again, I’ll even give you some pick up lines to use on your nightlight and maybe some ill beats, chicks are all about the ill beats. It’s gonna take some time, but eventually we’ll get you comfy enough and you’ll be able to open up to her.”

Rose straightened her headband and nodded. She didn’t really know what to say so she opted for a simple thank you and left.

Dave didn’t know what to think, but he was more than happy to help, and that was all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave isn't uncomfortable because he's against Rose dating Kanaya, he's a pretty open minded kind of guy. There are other reasons why teenage males in their adolescence may feel uncomfortable talking about lesbians with their ectobiological sister. (IE Popping boners at inopportune times)
> 
> The real reason you clicked on the explicit fanfic should come next chapter, if I can't find a way to pad it out for another 5 chapters first MUAHAHAHAAHH.


	3. Moths Are Attracted To Light And Vice Versa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brothers Ruin Everything.

The library was unusually bright. The entire room was saturated by the rainbow drinker’s glow; her skin radiated a light bright enough to illuminate every nook and cranny. There was not a bit of darkness to be found if one were to look; the only light shadow was cast from the girl straddling the confused and frightened Virgo, their lips pressed tightly against each other.

Eventually Rose pulled away, confessed her affections and waited for a reaction, but it never came. A feeling of dread washed over her. Minutes passed and still nothing. Fear crept into the back of her mind and pushed its way to the forefront. She looked franticly for movement in Kanaya’s face, her thoughts racing with questions and horrific answers, was she wrong? Was she misreading everything? Was there something she missed? Oh god, it felt like hours, it felt like days, something was wrong! What was she doing acting without thinking like that!? She didn’t think this through! Was she supposed to say something? What could she do!? The silence was maddening, any response would have been preferable, but Kanaya was seemingly catatonic.

And then she wasn’t.

Suddenly Kanaya gasped. It felt like the air had been sucked from her breath sacks, her vascular muscle beat with the force of a drum, and her think pan felt like it was about to explode. She couldn’t process what occurred moments before. There was simply no explanation for what she was seeing. What had happened was impossible, but Rose was on top of her, staring into her eyes, and the residue of long since dried tears rested on her face. A trickle of blood fell from where the blonde had cut her lip on the troll’s fangs and Kanaya could taste the iron on her tongue. 

It happened.

OH GOG HAPPEND!

Kanaya’s eyes went wide as the realization swept through her. She had given up any real hope at a flushed relationship, conceding that a significantly more pale one would have to suffice. But why?! Why did this happen!? What did she say?! What did she do!? Did she do anything?! As the thoughts circulated the troll’s face went green, then white, and then back to green before slowly calming down until she was back to her normal level of light emission and color, only slightly flustered and under the realization that this was not something to fret over.

A tentative smile crept across her face as she looked at Rose and slowly the human gave one in turn. She never smiled, not really, she liked to laugh and tease under the guise of a smile, but none ever showed themselves when Rose was genuinely happy. It was a beautiful sight.

What Kanaya saw when she craned her neck downwards was not.

“I-it…” Kanaya attempted to say while her face attempted to express the pure terror she was feeling “It…”

“Did I do something wrong Kanaya?” Rose quickly blurted out as in surprise and fear “A-am I moving too fast?”

“It… “ 

“Fuck! Oh god I’ve made a huge mis-“

“N-no it-“ 

Kanaya began to shake. 

“I- I don’t know what to do, I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry! Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll fix it I sw-“

Everything went white. The pair became engulfed in a flash of light akin to nothing either had ever seen before. For a brief moment Kanaya’s skin became so intense that she rivaled the light of Alternia’s star, but as quickly as it began, it ended and left the Rose blind.

“Augh! Kanaya, I know I’m the Seer of Light but even I can only take so m-”

Rose was cut off by a sudden chill running down her spine and instantly she became aware of how cold the library had become. Somehow the two were now sitting upright, allowing for a cold draft to blow over the pair. Every hair on the blonde’s body stood on end from the frigid air, the only reprieve coming from the warm breath on her neck. 

“Kanaya.” Rose stated flatly “What are you doing?”

The rainbow drinker stopped and pulled her fangs away from Rose’s jugular. 

“I… I don’t know. I believe that I may have lost control of my faculties for a brief… mo… ment…”

Kanaya looked behind rose and at her now outstretched arms, each hand full of several dozen shreds of orange cloth. She was briefly confused, but the feeling of a stone dropping in her gut quickly gave her an idea of what had happened during the flash of light. In her rage she had lapsed into her basest impulses, both of hatred and of hunger. She had been able to stop the second, but it was far too late to prevent the first. She pulled her arms toward herself over Rose’s shoulders and found that in her palms were the remains of a hideous garment and in her sight was the image of a bare skinned porcelain alien. 

When Rose’s eyesight began to return all she could make out was the rainbowdrinker’s light on the dark background of the bookshelves behind her. She made a note to herself that Kanaya was back to approximately her normal state before she was able to focus enough to make out the reflective orange in her hands. Another chill ran over the blonde’s skin, causing her to look down. Her gaze was met with nothing more than her modest bosom, pale as ever and reflecting a slight glow from her companion.

“Oh” Rose said flatly “This isn’t what I had in mind when I decided on kissing you…”

Kanaya’s face began to tinge green, her actions finally starting to sink into her think pan.

“…Although, it’s not an altogether unwelcome turn of events.”

Rose gave Kanaya a gentle push against her forehead and sent her falling again onto the cushions. The scraps of orange fabric fluttered in the air like confetti as they were forced from Kanaya’s hands, blanketing the sceen as they fell to the ground.

“This also is not what I had intended!” Kanaya vehemently insisted as her face flushed entirely “It’s just that your dress is so terrible and I needed to find a way to- “

“Tear it off me?” Rose cooed as she slouched backwards, putting her hands on the first button of kanaya’s skirt and slowly unfastening it. 

“No- maybe- possibly- but not for the reasons that you are thinking that I was intending!”

Kanaya covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.

“Then do you want me to stop?” Rose said while undoing the other two buttons “I seem to have been misreading your actions entirely.”

“Y-yes”

“You’re a terrible liar Kanaya, we’ve been over this.”

“I am aware of this fact,” Kanaya said as she peeked through her fingers “but in earnest I did not mean for this to happen! I only wanted to be rid of that eyesore that you are always wearing!”

“You really don’t like my God Pajamas do you?”

“You could not possibly fathom my hatred for them.”

“I personally find them quite comfortable.”

“They are an abomination that must be eradicated.”

“Really,” Rose said, sliding the skirt off Kanaya’s legs “then what exactly will I wear when they are destroyed? I didn’t bring any extra clothes on this voyage; I might have to take some of yours.”

“Rose, I have offered countless times to design and sew you new clothes. You have simply never accepted.”

“Were you not using that as an excuse to ogle me nude?”

“I- I didn’t mean to- I wasn’t trying to…” Kanaya stammered before following Rose’s gaze to her chest “Rose, where is my shirt?”

“Oh that? I captchalogued it while you were acting adorable. It’s funny, nobody seems to use their sylladexes anymore. They’re very useful in situations like this,” Rose looked the vampire up and down “I was expecting something more colorful than black lace on you though.”

“Well I was not expecting to display my underwear today.” Kanaya said while Rose kissed up the inside of her thigh “I- ah- I was speaking in earnest when I told you that I was overcome by my base desires! After glimpsing that horrible rag on my person my vision went white and I must have acted on my underlying feelings of hatred and hunger!”

“Is that so,” Rose questioned as she began placing more pecks along the troll’s stomach “if that’s the case do you really want me to stop?”

“I d-didn’t s-say tha- “

“…because I think that we both know that that’s not entirely true.”

“N-no it’s the truth!”

“Really? Judging by the outcome of your minor bout of amnesia I’d say that there was at least one more feeling at play…”

“I haven’t the faintest inclination as to what you are implying.”

“I was wearing underwear before you tore my clothes off. Now I’m not.”

“They must have been destroyed along with the rest of your ensemble.”

Rose smirked. “That sounds reasonable enough… but then how do you explain my panties sitting on the floor next to us and my bra hanging from your horn?”

Kanaya looked up and paused as a strap loosened itself enough to flap into her face. “I don’t know how to respond to that”

“You don’t have to respond. Just humor my theory.” Rose said as she placed a hand on a slightly twitching lump lurking under Kanaya’s panties and whispered into her ear. “My guess is that there might have been a third emotion in play aside from hunger and rage… one that I think you’re more than familiar with. It’s that one that I see in your eyes every time I walk into the room and that I feel radiating from you every time we’re together”

Kanaya bit her lip as Rose trailed a finger along her bare skin. 

“Lust”

Kanaya squeaked as Rose’s finger caught on the waistline of her undergarments and dragged downwards. “As long as we’re being honest here Kanaya, I have to admit that I’m not unacquainted with the feeling myself. I know you’re not particularly well versed in human anatomy but I am quite well acquainted with yours, certain sordid literature saw to that, and there’s one small facet of it that piqued my interest signific… ”

Rose stopped as she felt a tugging at her hand and looked down Kanaya’s stomach for the source of the interruption, only to be greeted by a surprising sight. A writhing ridged viridian tentacle of at least 11 inches in length was sprouting from the jade green folds of what Rose recalled as Kanaya’s ‘nook’. 

“I suppose that ‘small’ may have been a poor choice of words.”

Kanaya hid her face in her palms once more.

“Maybe I’m not as well acquainted as I thought I was” Rose muttered to herself “This is your ‘bone bulge’?”

Kanaya replied with a nod

“Are they normally this large?” 

Kanaya shook her head “Those of my caste have a reputation for substantial… size. I believe it’s a part of the allure of rainbow drinker literature.” 

“It certainly has its appeal.” Rose conceded “Although I was under the impression that the main draw of such literature was an escapist fantasy; after all, what is more romantic than a tryst with a fair skinned immortal being with a disdain for the fate pushed on them? “

Kanaya gasped as she felt Rose’s hand playing with her bulge, rolling it along the different fingers and allowing it to grasp on to her thumb and wrist “Or, maybe it’s the thrill of the shy and ignored girl being turned into that which is against her very nature by the previously mentioned troublemaker?” 

“You have me at a b-bit of a disadvantage if we’re going to continue this conversation” Kanaya strained to say as Rose continued to stroke her bulge up and down while simultaneously toying with the latched tip. “P-perhapse we could h-have a more in depth discussion somewhere more p-private?”

“Why would we do that?” Rose purred as she nuzzled the writhing appendage.

“Firstly because I am c-currently on the verge of pailing and I do not possess a bucket with which to deposit my genetic material…”

“Well surely we could find some way to remedy that.”

“… and secondly because I believe –ah- I can hear Dave’s terrible rapping drawing closer to us from down the hallway.”

“Shit.”

Rose quickly let go of the Kanaya and scrambled for something to drape herself in. “Fuck! Kanaya there’s nothing here! Why did you have to destroy my only set of clothing?!”

“I will apologize profusely later,” Kanaya replied while dressing herself with vampiric speed “But for now the pressing matter at hand is your ecto-brother rapidly approaching!”

“I know, I know! Do I have time to get down the corridor before he gets here?!”

“I do not believe so; you will have to hide!”

“Unless there’s a secret passage behind one of these bookshelves I don’t know where I’m supposed to hide!”

“Hey Kanaya,” a masculine voice called from just outside the door “is Rose in there?”

“She is not currently present in the library, no. Why, do you need her?”

“You’re actually the one I wanted to talk to. I thought maybe you’d be able to hook me up with some of that Alternian slam poetry?”

“This is not a good time for me right now; could you come back at a later date? I am very much enthralled with a book at the moment and would not like my atmosphere to be shattered unceremoniously by your horrendous rhythmic speaking.”

“Ah don’t worry, I’ll be quick.” Dave said while turning the door knob and opening it a smidge “I can find it myself, I think.”

Kanaya pointed upwards, signaling Rose to float to the ceiling, barely making it past the top of the doorframe before Dave walked into the room. 

“Besides I sorta need to talk to you about something”

Kanaya held the nearest book in reach to her face. “I told you that I am engrossed in this book. It is getting very good at this point and I would not like the setting to be spoiled by you or your rapping.”

“Well whatever floats your boat, I guess, but you couldn’t get me to read Karkat’s terrible quadrant vasiwatsit piece of shit if you paid me.”

Kanaya began screaming internally at the realization of what she was reading and what she had just admitted to being enthralled with.

“The diction is good.”

“Of course.” Dave said as he scratched the back of his neck and began perusing the various shelves of reading material lining the walls “Hey, has Rose been acting strangely recently?”

“There have been certain actions she has taken that have puzzled me, yes.”

Dave grabbed a random book off the shelf at eye level. “Has she been more friendly or something?”

“I suppose that is an apt description. Why? Do you have something to do with it?”

Rose let out a slight giggle at the statement

“Did you hear that?” Dave said, looking around the room 

“No.”

“You sure? I swear I just heard something.”

“Yes.”

“Alright then…” Dave said as he opened his book and pretended to skim “I don’t want to pry but I gotta ask, do you still have a thing for Rose?”

Kanaya’s face again became an emerald beacon behind her book.

“I do not know what you are implying.”

“Of course you don’t, because you aren’t completely smitten with her.”

“Who has been giving you this impression?” Kanaya asked while she flipped the page.

“Just a fucking crazy, chainsaw wielding, vampire with no taste in music. Nobody important.” 

Another chuckle left Rose’s mouth

“Fuck, there it was again.” Dave looked around for something that could have made the noise “How are you not hearing that?”

“I don’t hear anything, and I do not know what I could have done to instill that image of me into your think pan.”

“It’s probably your wanting to slice the Juggalo in two. You’re still dodging the question though.”

“Rose and I are friends and I am as fond of her as I have ever been. Why all the sudden interest in my personal life?”

“She’s just been worried about you is all,” Dave said while attempting to be as subtle as possible “you’ve just been a little distant and she’s concerned.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

Kanaya snapped the book shut and gently laid it down next to her. 

“Then would you mind delivering a message to her on my behalf? I don’t want her to worry”

“Yeah sure, what do you want me to tell her?” Dave said, sitting down on the couch

Kanaya stayed very quiet for a while, lost in thought and dug deep for just the right thing to say before finally opening her mouth to speak.

“I would like you to tell her that I am indeed flushed for her, possibly to an unhealthy degree.” Kanaya began with a monotone delivery “I would also like you to tell her that she is always welcome to in my room and that I am requesting her to be there in three hours, preferably alone and prepared, but I am not picky, if she wishes to bring others I have no qualms. At that point I will withdraw my bonebulge from its sheath and strip her of any and all clothing that she would be wearing. When the preparations are complete I will then proceed to pleasure her so intensely and so vigorously that she will not be able to move her legs for approximately a fifth of a sweep and will undoubtedly require the use of god-tier powers to get around. I am going to fuck her Dave. I am going to fuck your sister, I’m going to do it a lot and she will enjoy every minute of it. This is what happens when you attempt to play matchmaker Mr. Strider. These are the consequences of your actions.”

Dave was dead silent as Kanaya got up from off the couch and walked out the door. He simply sat there for a while, not really able to comprehend what had just happened there.

Rose on the other hand was doing all she could to keep herself from bursting into cacophonous laughter, desperate trying not to reveal herself to Dave in the 10 minute window that he sat in his stunned silence.

Eventually Dave snapped out of his trance and began his uncomfortable trek back to his room, trying to keep his mind off the task that awaited him by muttering to himself along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave is muttering "The fuck are these orange things all over the fucking ground" by the way. 
> 
> Anyway, I'll probably hate this after I post it, so I'll probably redo it at some point. Anyway, I'm keeping this work to be pretty much accepted Tentabulge fanon, but I'm thinking of doing a significantly more Xeno one as a followup set after the game. Would anyone be interested in reading that?


	4. The Best Possible Outcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose takes the path to the best possible outcome.

Kanaya slammed the door behind her as she entered her respiteblock and quickly dived onto her bed, burying her head under the pillows. Sleeping in recupricoons had not been a pleasant experience after the sopor slime ran dry and once the trolls discovered humanity’s sleeping arrangements they were quick to adopt the much more comfortable mattress and sheets. Even before that Kanaya had taken a liking to the interestingly simple and elegant contraption that adorned Rose’s room, particularly the soft looking fabrics stretched across the frame and fluffy head resters that sat at the head of the bed, and had managed to alchemize a replica for herself. At night snuggling in to the well dressed and tightly tucked sheets reminded her of the loving embrace of her lusus and served better than even the purest sopor in getting her to sleep (being one step closer to her idol was also a plus of course). Right now however it was serving as a perfect depository for her embarrassment and stupidity.

Kanaya’s vascular muscle felt like it was going to jump out of her chest and the contents of her gastric sack felt like they wanted to escape her protein chute. What was she thinking?! She had just outted her less than chaste desires to her apparent matesprite’s biological sibling, and in front of said matesprite no less! It was enough to make her want to curl into a ball in die (again) or at least maybe lie there forever and never see anyone ever again, never.

Then the pinging started.

The muffled notifications coming from the computer atop the desk on the far side of the room were instantly recognizable, even through the six or so down pillows that Kanaya had buried herself in. They came slowly at first, one every hand full of seconds, and slowly picked up the pace before finally stopping after about 18 pings. 

Kanaya clamped one of the fluff filled cases over her head and tried her best to ignore the horrid chimes, holding down so tightly that one of her horns dug into the cushion and caused a rather sizable tear. Thoughts of what could be on the messages haunted her think pan and terrified her, the possibility of Karkat getting wind of her encounter, Dave rebuking her for her little speech, or worst of all Rose reconsidering and ending their friendship because of her actions! For Kanaya there was nothing she would rather do less than face the harsh consequences of her stupidity and answer the undoubtedly scolding messages coming from her computer. Nothing, that is, except not answering them.

Eventually Kanaya rose through the pile of cushions (getting feathers everywhere) and began to make her way to the computer. 

An unmistakable lavender text greeted her.

TT: Kanaya, I just wanted to inform you that I reached my room without too much trouble.  
TT: I was stopped by someone though, much to my chagrin.  
TT: While I wasn’t seen, Terezi did catch wind of me from a mile away.  
TT: She pretty much immediately guessed why I was in my underwear, so there’s not really much hope for keeping our relationship a secret, not that I really wanted to in the first place, but I had hoped to keep the option open for your sake.  
TT: Although with what you said to Dave I assume that you’re not terribly concerned about it.  
TT: It was very flattering by the way, and I can not wait for what you promised was to come, that is if the offer still stands to come to your room in two hours.  
TT: Speaking of which Dave sent me a rather forceful message saying:  
TT: “mission fucking accomplished shes all yours go rut against each other or something”  
TT: I found that intensely amusing.  
TT: Anyway, apparently Terezi believes I smell strongly of vanilla and licorice while my hands smell faintly of spearmint.  
TT: Being the ‘brilliant’ detective that she is she put two and two together fairly quickly.  
TT: A veritable Sherlock Holmes that one.  
TT: Thankfully she understood my situation and offered to lend me some of her spare clothing that she doesn’t particularly care to wear.  
TT: I must say Kanaya, your handiwork is very nice.  
TT: I don’t know why it never crossed my mind that you were using her for a model when I was otherwise indisposed or reluctant to accept your offers.  
TT: We’re not exactly the closest fits, but it’s better than the tatters that are still lying on the floor of the library I suppose.  
TT: I know you’re probably too nervous to respond Kanaya, but feel free to jump in whenever you feel that you’re up to the task.  
TT: In the mean time maybe I should describe my favorites of what she lent me?

Kanaya breathed a sigh of relief as she took in Rose’s texts. Perhaps she had over reacted somewhat, Rose had expressed rather… strong interest in her and it was a little silly to believe that she’d be mad even after what ended up happening. It was exactly what she wanted after all.

TT: The first one she gave me was this brilliant teal robe in a floral pattern tied at the waste.  
GA: I Am Here Rose  
TT: It’s very loose but I suppose that’s the point.  
TT: Oh, hello Kanaya.  
TT: I know I may be putting a little bit of pressure on you but I would like to know if that invitation you gave me is still standing, that way I can decide which one of these fantastic pieces to wear ahead of time.  
TT: If you don’t feel up to it though I understand, Dave does have a way of killing the mood.

Kanaya took a deep breath before placing her hands back onto the keys.

GA: I Am Sorry Rose But I Do Not Think That I Am Completely Prepared To Properly Receive You Tonight  
GA: Can We Reschedule For Another Night  
TT: Alright, that’s fine.  
TT: Would you like me to continue?  
TT: Maybe you could tell me which ones you like best?  
GA: Yes That Would Be Nice  
GA: Since You Refuse To Have My Apparently Lecherous Hands Measure Your Figure For Fitting It May Be A Good Idea To Tell Me What Changes I Will Need To Do To Accommodate Your Frame  
TT: That seems reasonable enough.  
TT: Well I’m pretty sure you’re aware that Terezi possesses rather wide hips and anything that she lends me will need tailoring to fit.  
TT: In the words of the earth poet Anthony Ray: “Baby got back”.  
TT: That being said this robe doesn’t really discriminate in that area, although the shirt that goes with it is a little restricting.  
TT: I think I’ll just skip it altogether.  
TT: Maybe tighten the sash a little higher and accentuate my bust a bit more?  
TT: What do you think of that idea Kanaya?  
GA: I Believe That That Would Be Acceptable  
TT: Do you have any suggestions?  
GA: Not At The Moment But Perhaps If You Move On To Another Outfit

The thought of Rose’s breasts being displayed in such a manner caused Kanaya’s hands to wander. Without thought they began moving down her stomach and under her skirt before settling on the entrance to her nook, tracing it through her underwear. 

TT: Let’s see, there’s also this lovely black and green evening gown.  
TT: It’s very elegant and I’ve wanted to try on a dress with a split for a while now.  
TT: The only real problem I’m having with it is the cleavage.  
TT: It’s rather low, and I’m afraid I may have to resort to tape if I would like to keep my dignity while wearing it.  
GA: Maybe  
TT: I feel like I’ve seen this before actually…  
TT: I remember now, Porrim was wearing something along these lines wasn’t she?  
GA: Mhm

Kanaya shimmied out of her skirt and brushed aside her panties; uttering a soft moan as she dipped a finger into herself, slowly pumping it in and out. 

TT: Am I boring you Kanaya?  
GA: No I Am Quite Enjoying It  
TT: Because we don’t have to go through this if you don’t want to, I just thought you’d like it.  
GA: Id Rather You Continue Actually  
GA: In Fact I Have A Suggestion For What You Should Try On Next And A Question For When You Do  
GA: Since Terezi Only Wears But Two Outfits I Assume You Had The Pick Of All The Others I Have Made For Her  
TT: That’s correct.  
GA: Did You Take The Bright Red One That Is In Two Pieces  
TT: Yeah, I’m putting it on now.  
TT: Well it certainly breathes well, and it’s very beautiful, although I’m not sure I could go around wearing something so…  
GA: So What  
TT: I want to say ‘revealing’ but that isn’t really what I’m looking for, maybe vulnerable?  
TT: I’m not sure how comfortable I am baring my entire midriff like this.  
GA: I Found Your Stomach To Be Very Attractive  
GA: Particularly The Indentation In The Middle  
TT: My bellybutton?  
GA: There Is Something That Resembles A Button Yes  
GA: In My Opinion It Is Very Aesthetically Pleasing  
TT: Hmm…  
TT: Human fascination with the navel has gone on for hundreds of years, possibly longer, so your curiosity has some precedent.  
TT: More recently some have taken to ingesting alcohol from them.  
TT: I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to give it a try… 

At that remark a pressure grew in Kanaya’s loins and her finger was pushed out as the viridian green tentacle once again erupted form the folds of her nook. Instinctively her bulge latched onto her hand and began curling itself around it, eager for any stimulation that it could get. Kanaya bit her lip and muffled the moans of pleasure that tried to leave her throat while the green appendage lapped at her wrist. 

GA: okuhilkjghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
TT: Is that a yes?  
GA: My Apolgis My Fnger Sliped  
TT: I see, you sure seem to be enjoying yourself over there.  
GA: You Haav A Knak For Iimagry  
TT: Do you need a hand with that? 

A chill ran up Kanaya’s spine before she carefully typed out her next message.

GA: I Am Not Sure What Youre Referring To  
TT: Come now Kanaya, I know you do.

The creaking of the box-spring confirmed her suspicions and fears.

GA: How Long Have You Been Lying On My Bed  
TT: Long enough to realize that this isn’t the first time you’ve touched yourself to my texts  
GA: And What Exactly Are You Doing In My Respite Block  
TT: Taking the path with the greatest chance of a positive outcome.  
TT: It’s what I do.  
GA: That Seems Like A Grievous Misuse Of Your God Tier Powers  
TT: Maybe so, but I have glimpsed our best possible future and it was very pleasant.

Kanaya turned her chair around and looked directly at the barely clothed miscreant and laptop adorning her bed before her attention was diverted to the chaotic state of the room that was once her respiteblock. Pieces of fabric were strewn about, each of them instantly recognizable as one of the ensembles Kanaya had designed with not a single one folded in any fashion. The feathers that had previously been confined solely to the bed had been spread to every corner of the room and the pillowcase was nowhere to be seen. It was a complete mess. The culprit merely smiled and wiggled her fingers back at Kanaya.

“What have you done to my respiteblock?” Kanaya stated calmly, attempting to mask the screaming in her head. 

“I made it into something I feel a little more comfortable in seeing as I’m going to be staying the night.” Rose said as she winked at Kanaya in such an over exaggerated fashion that it could only be described as comical.

Kanaya’s face remained deadpan “You seem incredibly sure that you will be successful in your endeavor”

“It’s a forgone conclusion really, and would you really want it otherwise?”

“P-probably not…” Kanaya mumbled barely audible to Rose’s ears “but there is also the possibility that I may have wanted to go on at least one date before we…” 

“Kanaya,” Rose giggled “What exactly do you think that we’ve been doing for the last few months?”

Kanaya’s eyes went wide and her skin grew bright “I- uh I thought that we were just accompanying each other as friends and…”

Kanaya trailed off as she felt the heat of green blood flushing her face. 

“And you consider holding hands while looking into the void of paradox space in the middle of our sleep cycle to be hanging out between friends? I must say, if that’s the case the quadrant system of may be more interesting than I first thought.”

“No, I just thought that you were… I didn’t think you were paying attention when I…”

“Kanaya, your hand was like a vice grip. Any harder and you would have broken mine.” 

“I was nervous...” Kanaya said as her gaze once again met the floor “I have just been enamored with you for such a long time that-“

Kanaya lifted her view back onto the bed only to be met with a swath of pale skin and blonde hairs. Rose sat with her legs dangling over the side of the bed completely nude, her lithe frame clad in nothing but the air around her. The sight was enough to invigorate both her bulge’s tenacity and the racing of her vascular muscle, causing more of her jade green blood to rush to two very different areas simultaneously. 

“Your face hasn’t stained that color, has it?” Rose said while setting herself onto the floor and sauntering over to the embarrassed troll “It would be a bit of an inconvenience if my reading light suddenly gained a green hue…”

Rose stood before Kanaya and grabbed the sylph’s hand, pulling it to her chest before moving both their hands downwards, stopping right below her rib cage. “I… I think it might be time that I enlighten you to the differences in our anatomy…” Rose said before she led Kanaya’s hand down her stomach and placed it onto a neatly groomed patch of hair 

“Familiar so far Kanaya?” Rose said with a hint of trepidation in her voice 

“So far, yes. This is your nook?” Kanaya replied, tentatively touching Rose’s moistened folds in an attempt to keep her composure “and this is your bulge?” Kanaya’s fingers traced over Rose’s clit and elicited a shudder from the mouth of the shivering seer.

“T-technically I suppose it’s the equivalent for women of our species but it haaAAAAAA!“ An expression of genuine surprise became affixed to Rose’s face as one of Kanaya’s fingers plunged into her opening. Likewise a smirk began to creep across that of the troll’s. 

“I’m so sorry for skipping ahead in your lesson Rose but I believe you would be forced to agree that neither one of us is here for the lecture.” Kanaya’s thumb brushed up against Rose’s button while she withdrew her dampened finger and then drove it back in, causing her partner to fall forward face first between Kanaya’s horns. 

“F-fuck Kanaya!” Rose breathed into Kanaya’s hair as the sylph continued her assault below “What the hell!?” 

Kanaya’s black lips held tightly together, the troll was finally in a position of power over her desires, and she would not spoil the moment with idle chatter. Rose was right; accomplishing one of her goals was beneficial and this was the one that had meant the most to her. She decided to add another long, slender digit into the squirming girl and elicited a harsh gasp which soon gave way to moans of pleasure as she crooked her fingers and repeated her probing. Kanaya knew that Rose would unsheathe at any moment, the clear genetic material leaking from her partner proved that, and then the real fun would begin. 

“K-kanaya” Rose squeaked out between thrusts “Kanaya I-“

Another crook of the fingers cut off the loquacious seer and left behind only a wide smile and heavy panting. While Rose’s conversations were usually quite enjoyable something about the panting and moaning was even more so. It was akin to a song, each breath a note, and her fingers the keys. 

But something was amiss.

“Rose”

“Hm?” Rose replied after lifting her face from Kanaya’s hair. 

“I believe I’m doing something wrong.”

“No no, you’re doing fiiiine…” Rose purred while resting her head back onto Kanaya’s own “Why?”

“Your bulge shows no signs of unsheathing and I fear that I have made some sort of error.”

Rose’s muffled giggling was unmistakable. “That’s because I don’t have one. That’s purely the forte of men in human biology.”

Kanaya withdrew her hand with a surprising amount of resistance “What.”

“This is what happens when you interrupt my lectures,” Rose chided, simultaneously raising her head and straddling Kanaya’s legs “You miss out on certain key features that are critical to the exam.”

“Then what exactly am I supposed to wrap my bulge around? How do humans to pail without-“

Before the words left her mouth the idea of what must happen clicked in her mind. Kanaya recalled the fact that humans bred in matched pairs, nurturing their young within, but it never occurred to her how it took place. Her already flushed face grew a shade darker. 

“I am to insert my bulge into you.”

“A-plus Kanaya,” Rose confirmed with a hint of playful sarcasm and a kiss on the forehead “Is that a problem for you? It might be a little alien and I don’t want to force you into doing something that might be unappealing.”

“I’m not… certain…” Kanaya responded “It is an alien concept… but it is somewhat similar to that of bulge sucking, which from my understanding was a practice mostly employed by the flatter teethed lower castes involving the mouth.”

“I knew what you meant, humanity has its counterpart. I would offer to demonstrate but I’ve never done it before and to be perfectly honest I’m afraid that it might jump down my throat.”

“Yes my control over her is suspect at best” Kanaya replied in relation to her squirming bulge “I gather that there is no danger of asphyxiation I were to use your nook?”

“Correct.”

“Then it can not be helped,” Kanaya said with a shaky smile “However I am afraid you might have to instruct me on how I am to proceed.”

“Well first we need to free this” Rose said while unwinding the tentacle still clutching at Kanaya’s hand “and then we will have to bring you to me...” 

Rose stood up and positioned herself so that she would be more able to accommodate the wiggling appendage, propping herself up on the portion of the seat not already being filled. Kanaya bit her bottom lip as Rose tugged her bulge into position, the feeling of simply being touched was already enough to make her shake in anticipation. The slick tentacle twitched when Rose’s hand dragged off the tip as she brought it to her entrance, each ridge along the bulge catching her finger and causing a shock to go up the troll’s spine. 

Eventually Rose took a deep breath and lowered herself onto the bulge, attempting to keep her composure as the anticipated spark of pain grew nearer, but as the tip dipped into her it did not come and the bulge became calm. Rose could feel every part of the pulsating tentacle as it lodged itself only a couple inches inside and already it felt like too much. The bulge’s twitching combined with its inhuman heat was maddening and Rose wasn’t sure how long she could keep control under such conditions, but somehow she kept the bulge calm enough to speak.

“I think I can take a little more…” Rose said in barely a whisper “but I’m definitely going to need some time to-“

Rose was again cut off as the tendril became acclimated to its surroundings and again began its fierce writhing. Starved for stimulation the bulge twisted and turned in a desperate attempt to grab on to something and satisfy its need for touch. The sensation of the slick and smooth underside contrasting with the bumpy upper side created an undeniable pleasure and was unlike anything either had felt before.

Another gasp escaped Rose’s lips as the tentacle suddenly began to retreat from her. As it slithered backwards the bulges irregular top side drew itself along the roof of Rose’s inner walls and sent bolts of sensation through the two of them. At every ridge pressure grew around the bulge until the cold air kissed the tip and the tight embrace was altogether gone. 

Rose sighed as the tentacle licked fervently at her thigh, “I think we might have done something wrong.” 

“Mhm…” Kanaya responded while looking past her alien matesprite, “Rose, would it be considered improper to use the bed as a platform for pailing?”

“Actually it’s the generally the preferred Location. Why?”  
“Because,” Kanaya said as she slid her arms under Rose’s slender rump as she stood up and lifted the Seer into the air “I believe that a change of venue may resolve the issue.”

Rose wrapped her legs tightly around Kanaya’s waist and flung herself forward, again pressing her lips tightly against Kanaya’s own. Much to Rose’s surprise Kanaya kissed back with a strong fervor and swiftly moved the two to the edge of the bed before plopping down Rose on top of it.

“Spread your legs” Kanaya commanded in a stern voice, “You will have to excuse my tone, but I feel that this position will allow me a bit more… control…” 

Kanaya grabbed her bulge and winced at the pressure that she was forced to apply in order to keep it under control. Slowly she moved herself towards Rose’s entrance and loosened her grip, allowing the bulge to once again wriggle to its heart’s content. 

Almost instictively the bulge lunged forward and sunk itself deeply into Rose. Rose stifled a cry as she felt twinge of pain; the bulge had secured itself too deeply too quickly and caused a small trickle of blood to escape Rose’s entrance. The scent did not go unnoticed.

“Rose are you bleeding?! ” Kanaya said with hint of panic “Are you alright?!”

“Yeah,” Rose grunted as the tentacle wiggled inside of her and the pain began to dull “I’m just… I’ve never really done this before… and I’m kinda surprised it didn’t happen back on the chair actually.”

“Well if you are sure…” Kanaya replied with some trepidation “I am going to move…” 

Kanaya moved her hips back and grabbed the base of her bulge again in an attempt to keep the wiggling to a minimum. Again she let go and again it jumped inside but this time met with much less resistance and was able to dive farther. Rose gasped in surprise and pleasure as the bulge began to knock around on the walls inside her, thrashing to and fro. It was a completely unlike anything she had ever felt before, feeling both full and empty as the bulge pushed against her and changed focus, seemingly at random. The gasping soon gave way to moans as pleasure spread through her, the thrashing inside akin to Kanaya’s slender crooking fingers in all directions simultaneously. 

Another thrust from Kanaya introduced the entire girth of the bulge to the seer as it stretched her entrance to its apex. Further inside however the slick tentacle began a new trick and began to coil itself, thickening in the process and only exposing Rose to the bumps on its top. Quickly it rolled and twisted and sent reverberations of sensation throughout the seer, drilling into her and then deliberately uncoiling, giving her nearly its full length.

Rose was in a world of pleasure as her mouth hung open and melodious nojses left her throat, her snark and wit leaving her long ago replaced the panting and moaning that Kanaya loved so much. It drove her forward, to be more bold and thrust with greater frequency and intensity, until a pressure began to grow in her loins.

Suddenly a boisterous sound burst forth from Rose followed by a strong clenching around Kanaya’s bulge, flattening its length to its entirety. Kanaya could feel the tapered tip bottom out and felt a small pinch around it, her bulge able to go no farther. It was enough to push her over the edge and with a grunt she let loose a torrent of green genetic material and a wave of satisfaction spread through her. 

Spent, Kanaya slipped out of Rose and fell onto the mattress, releasing a flood of genetic material from the finally quiet Seer. 

“I… I believe that was acceptable…” Kanaya murmured with a smile “I wouldn’t mind another attempt”

“Good” Rose replied, her entire body sore “I’d be inclined to agree with your assessment.”

For a time the two simply kept smiling at each other, both finally feeling content. Eventually the two fell into sleep’s warm embrace, barely minding the sticky green mess they were both lying in and the sheets which were undoubtedly now in need of replacement.

Hours later Kanaya opened her eyes to find the sheets and her matesprit gone, apparently out in an attempt to clean up the now soaked mess of a bed that they had slept upon. Slowly she began to rise and find something with which to clothe herself, with the showers a ways off a clean shirt and skirt seemed like a price she’d be willing to pay in order to keep any semblance of dignity she had left. As soon as she opened the door to leave however she was greeted to to a horrible sight of orange and gold.

“R-Rose!?” Kanaya stammered in shock and surprise “That is not possible!”

“Err…” Rose replied as her face turned a bright pink, “You weren’t supposed to see this…”

Rose was dressed in her god tier outfit, the same one that had been lying in tatters all over the library floor the night before. The reflective qualities of the hideous excuse for a dress were alive and well, shining Kanaya’s light back into her face, and the entire ensemble was as clean and well kempt as the day it came into being. 

“It’s a part of going god tier Kanaya, and it’s a part of me too… I don’t think that I could I could get rid of it if I wanted to.”

Kanaya’s eyes narrowed and looked the seer up and down, until a wry grin crept over her face.

“Then seems I will forced to tear it off you once more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Woo! Sorry it took so long guys! I'll try to be faster next time! Currently in a bit of a rush so there's likely a lot of mistakes, I'll fix them when I get back from my trip.

**Author's Note:**

> Written because while rereading homestuck I just couldn't bring myself to believe that Kanaya could live 3 whole years with Rose without mentioning the fact that her outfit is the tackiest thing since the stuff you put up behind posters to keep them attached to your wall.


End file.
